Me, Myself, and Elana

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus

2008-08-22T03:06:00.004-04:00

It's 3:00 in the morning and I should be tired, but I had an amazing 3 1/2 hour nap today, so my body isn't quite ready to go to sleep! So, I'll update instead!

The last week at home was great. I found out I got a 4.5/6 on my analytical part of the GREs, and (like my other scores) it's a bit higher than what Pitt recommends. I guess we'll find out what Pitt thinks when I apply!

The last day of work was on the 14th. I'm glad to be done with it (I was getting so tired), but it was really hard saying goodbye to one of my patients. I developed an amazing friendship with her and it broke my heart to have to say goodbye. I'm hoping I can still see her on breaks...

My 21st birthday was on August 15th!! The whole day was incredible. At midnight, my dad took me out to Molly Brannigan's (a local restaurant/bar) and I ordered a lemon drop martini. It was delicious! Then, the bartender gave Dad and me some shots of mixed drinks on the house. The next day was so busy! I had appointments all day (hair, pedicure, makeup, etc.) and then Angela and Ed's wedding was in the afternoon. It was so beautiful and I am so glad I was there for it! I went to the reception for a bit afterwards, and then my friends and I met up at my house at 8:30. My DD for the night had called off because of a pulled muscle, so I was worried that another friend of mine would have to DD. But, my parents came to the rescue and my mom dropped us off at the South Side and picked us up!! I think it's awesome... not many parents would do that.

We started off at the Lava Lounge, and hit four more bars on E. Carson. I think my friends had a really good time.. I know I did! I maintained a good buzz, but I didn't get wasted and nobody got sick. It was a really great time and I'm so glad I had my best friends there with me. :-) I couldn't have asked for anything better!

I came back up to school on Tuesday. Steve and I moved into our apartment (which is beautiful, by the way), and we're so happy!! We shopped all day on Tuesday and a bit more on Wednesday, and we're finally settled in. I'm SO looking forward to this year. Steve is an amazing roommate and it's like having a sleepover every night. I've already cooked a bit (raviolis the first night and sauteed veggies the next!), and it's been so much fun so far. I can't wait to see what this year is going to bring!!

Also very exciting: I got a job at Texas Roadhouse! I went in for an interview on Wednesday to be a server, and I got a call a few hours after with the job offer. I can't wait.. training starts on Saturday and I think it's going to be really fun.

I need to head up to the barn soon so I can start riding again... if there's one thing I regret about this summer, it's that I wasn't able to ride at all. That said, I lost 20 pounds this summer (yes, 20! I found out on Tuesday!), and I think that will definitely help me when I get back on the horse.

Life, overall, is great. I do miss my family (although Hana is coming up soon), but this year looks very promising in so many ways and I'm really excited for it. More updates coming soon! :-)

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard (played by Patrick Stewart), Star Trek: Generations

- E

"Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." - Abraham J. Heschel

2008-08-11T01:20:00.004-04:00

It's been awhile and I need to update!

Ben and Aunt Edie came in and I had a GREAT time with them! Ben and I got to spend a lot of time together and that was so nice... he got to see a lot of my friends that he knew and met more. We went to Kennywood and had a game night at my house.. and it was just a really good time! I'm definitely hoping he comes to Duquesne for grad school (and I hope to get accepted to Pitt for my grad school!!).

Speaking of grad school, I took the GREs last Tuesday. Now, I had been taking practice tests and I wasn't too happy with those results. Pitt doesn't have a minimum score needed, but they recommend a 500+ on verbal, a 500+ on math, and a 4 out of 6 on analytical. I kept getting slightly under 500 in each section, so I was extremely nervous going in for the test. The day started off pretty terribly. It was pouring (perfect test taking weather, right?) and I forgot my umbrella, so I was soaked running from the parking lot (where I had to pay 13 dollars for parking) to the Cathedral of Learning. Once there, I had to find the classroom (all while trying to make myself look somewhat dry) and I started the test right away (I thought it started at 8 sharp, but it was whenever you got there... 7:40 for me). I think I did pretty well on the essays (I'll find out soon), and......I got 510 in verbal and 520 in math!! I was so relieved because that test was hard as hell. Verbal is usually my stronger point, but there were words that I had never even seen before in my life. And, not only did I have to know the definition, but I had to then know what the opposite of it was. Here's an example: torpor. Torpor. Have you ever seen that word before? And I couldn't even begin to think about what it meant (by the way, it means to be inactive. Yes, it's so obvious, right?). Then, I had to figure out what the opposite was... grr. BUT, I made it through and I'm so happy! Let's hope Pitt's happy too.

Erin and I had our 5th annual picnic last week... it was so nice! We had a great turnout and it was lots of fun. I've also been able to see Lindsay and Jess within the past week.. and that's been great too since I haven't seen them all summer.

I went to Angela's bachelorette party last night (well, the dinner part of it!). It was so much fun and I can't wait for her wedding...

...which happens to be in four days... like something else.... OH, that's RIGHT - my 21st birthday!! Yep, four days away. I can't wait - it's going to be a really awesome day!

Okay, that's all for now..hopefully more tomorrow. I'm so tired and I work at 8 tomorrow. GREAT!

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein

- E

Just something cool :) Will update today sometime!

2008-08-08T01:34:00.001-04:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Black and white photographs - Familytree

"One faces the future with one's past." - Pearl S. Buck

2008-07-24T11:17:00.002-04:00

Gooood morning! I have to make this a quick post because I work at 1 (for 10 hours...how exciting!).

The past week has been going pretty well. I've picked up a few more extra shifts at work because a caregiver quit... didn't even give a two weeks notice... just up and left! Oh well, it's money, and I need it!

I can't believe I have less than a month till I move back in! Steve and I finally got our apartment number and when we move in, and I'm to move back on August 19th, between 1 and 4. Steve and I hung out last Sunday (mmm, Olive Garden)... and we both can't wait to live together! He's one of my best friends and I know it's going to be a great year. :-)

I lost another 1.2 pounds this week, and I'm down to 17.4 pounds. I am hoping that I can reach my 24 pound goal (10% of my original body weight) by the time I go back to school.... or, at least 20 pounds... haha.

My aunt and cousin are coming in next week to visit for a few days! I'm so excited - Ben is my age, we're really close, and I'm looking forward to seeing them both.

I went out with my Angela yesterday for a bit. She's getting married on my birthday (good day, right? maybe I'm biased...), and so I helped her pick out a dress for her rehearsal dinner & we found gifts for both her and Eddie's parents. I can't wait for their wedding - they are both two wonderful people and they deserve the best in life! Speaking of their wedding/my birthday... both are a little over 3 weeks away! Yay :-)

Mmmm I think that's all for now... take care!

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

-E

"'No one,' Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'can make you feel inferior without your consent.' Never give it." - Marian Wright Edelman

2008-07-16T11:39:00.003-04:00

I'm sure you can all tell I was feeling pretty shitty at the time of my last post...

There's nothing like a whole bunch of bad things hitting you at once! I found out in the morning of July 4th that one of my clients had passed away. Now, we were expecting it.... but it was still sad to hear. I ended up going to her viewing the Sunday after, and that was really nice. The fireworks were beautiful on the 4th, but then afterwards Seth and I had a long conversation and decided that we're two different people and in two different stages of our lives right now. It was a "good" breakup, but it was emotional... and I haven't talked to him since. It's been tough, but overall I think it was probably for the better. I guess we'll see.

Life's been going pretty well since. Work is still work - always busy! I picked up a couple more shifts with new clients, and they seemed happy with me, so that's good! I'm down to a total weight loss of 16 pounds (since last night) and I just keep feeling better and better! My goal is to reach my 10% body weight loss goal before I go back to school (that's 24 pounds for me). So I have 8 pounds to go, and about 4 1/2 weeks to do it! I should be able to, and I'll just try my best.

I got pulled over for the first time in my life a couple of nights ago. I was heading home, and I went through what I thought was a yellow light (that I knew had turned red, but I thought I was already in the middle of the intersection). Well, it was just my luck that a police car was the first car in line at the opposing intersection, and he definitely pulled me over. He was really nice to me and understood what I thought I had done, but he issued me a citation anyway and told me that he had to because the light was already green for him by the time I went through. Oops. :( He also told me he couldn't give me any legal advice, but he hoped I "was old enough to read between the lines." He told me that I have the option of going to court and try to get the fine reduced and the points off my license. He also said that I didn't have an attitude with him and was extremely compliant, so if the judge wanted to adjust the fines/points, that the officer wasn't going to challenge it. SO, that's exactly what I'm going to try to do. Because who wants to pay 108 dollars and have 3 points on his/her license?? Grr. I'm not angry at the officer or anything, but it's just frustrating because I know I'M a safe driver and it wasn't like I was being dumb. I just didn't pay enough attention, I guess. So it goes...

That's not the only car problem I've had, unfortunately. My car hasn't been doing so well the past couple of weeks; I've been having trouble getting the gears to catch (and I have a stick shift), and I'm flying through a full tank of gas in a week (when I don't drive THAT much and usually have wonderful gas mileage). So, I took it into the shop last night and I found out that it's a transmission/clutch problem, and it needs to be repaired, obviously. The price is going to be anywhere from 1,500 - 1,700 dollars. Just what we needed!

I'm getting more and more excited to get back up to school. I love being at home, but I'm excited for what my senior year has to bring. I just hope that the drama level stays LOW and essentially non-existant. I mean, you know I won't be the one causing it, but I'm not about to deal with it either. I'm not sure if I wrote about this before, but I will say it again anyway, just because it's so important to me. This job as a caregiver has taught me a lot and I've gained so much from it. One of the most important things it's helped me to realize is truly how precious life is. Of course, I've always realized that, but I've started to visualize myself in 50 or 60 years, and I don't want to look back at my life and regret things I've done. I try not to live with regret now, but I've ultimately decided that my happiness is important and I won't let anyone or anything else get to me. So going back to the hopes that drama doesn't happen... if it does, I'm not afraid to adjust my life so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. I'm the type of person who wishes they could fix and change the world, and that includes people's attitudes. I am always nice to people because that's just naturally how I am and how I want to be treated. And no matter how nasty people are to me, it really takes a lot for me to act the same way towards them because I always am hoping that they will realize the ridiculousness of their behavior and change the way they are with me. Unfortunately, this doesn't always happen. It's been a hard pill to swallow that no matter how you act to some people, they won't necessarily treat you the same way. Well, I'm done with hoping and wishing that there is something I can do or say something to someone to change them when they've consistently shown disrespect towards me. I mean, I'll be 21 in less than a month, and in less than a year I will have my bachelor's degree. I'm sick of dealing with stupid shit and I need to surround myself with people who aren't going to bring me down. I let lots of things roll right off my back and I will continue to do that, but I have learned that I need to do what's best for me, because at the end of the day... I'm all I have.

I feel like doing a victory dance. Haha... you know, this summer compared to last summer is as different as night and day. Last summer I went through a lot of changes and I really did learn a lot, but they were all negative experiences that really taught me lessons. This summer, I've learned a ton about myself and good experiences have brought that to me. I made it a priority to work on my weight because that is important to me, and it's been successful so far. It was a "selfish" decision, but something I really wanted/needed to do, and it makes me feel good that I am doing that for me. I love to care for and nuture others (in my work, family, friends, relationships, organizations), and I have to remember to put myself in my list of priorities. It's so important!

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test a while back (if you're not familiar, take it online - just Google it), and I came up as an ENFJ [Extroverted (not Introverted) iNtuitive (not Sensing) Feeling (not Thinking) Judging (not Perceiving)]. Here's a profile, and I'm pretty sure it fits me perfectly:

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.
ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

Here's another one:

As an ENFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments. (This is, by the way, not true for me!)

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.
ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.

Interesting, right?? So I suggest all of you take the test, and leave a comment here telling me what it came up with for you (it's a little over 80 questions)! Ahh, I love personality tests/activities. I love the NSEW activity we did at CA training (and that Steve and I facilitated for both of our floors last year). I'm definitely doing that with the other officers of both the Equestrian Team and PPHA-CC. I think it will be beneficial...

Okay, so after this super long post, I think I'm done for now. I fully expect to see some comments... and it's good for you, too! You can learn a lot about your strengths and weaknesses through these sorts of tests and learn to capitalize on your strengths and work around your weaknesses.

Hope you enjoyed this novel & I'll update again soon enough!

"Where'd all the good people go / I've been changing channels, I don't see them on the TV shows / Where'd all the good people go / We've got heaps and heaps of what we sow." - Jack Johnson

- E

"A rose without thorns is like a love without heartbreak; it doesn't make sense." - Unknown

2008-07-05T01:27:00.003-04:00

The 4th of July is supposed to be happy and full of celebration, right? Today (yesterday) was, sort of.

But one of my clients passed away on July 3rd (at night), and Seth and I broke up tonight (er.. the night of the 4th, after fireworks).

So where does that leave me?

"Words and hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair." - Anonymous

- E

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha

2008-07-02T22:20:00.003-04:00

Good evening!

Things are still going well this summer (whew!)! I'm down now to 11 pounds lost (let's hear it for double digits, shall we?), and I feel amazing. What I'm doing for myself makes me very happy & I can't wait to see more results!

Friends are still doing well! Along with hometown friends, I'm attempting to also see some people I don't see all that much. Steve (my roomie for next year) and I got together this past Monday at the Waterfront. Besides being POURED on (thank you, Western PA weather), it was a great evening!!

Also, this past weekend I went to Ohio with Mike, Dawn, and Katie and we stayed at Katie's house. I had a blast.. it was awesome. We went to a Cleveland Indians game on Friday night, and spent the day relaxing on Saturday. Seeing as I'm not really going away on vacation this summer (minus some weekend trips), it was nice to get away for a night with friends.

Work is going pretty well. One of my clients is actually in the process of passing away, and it's a sad thing to experience, but this is just a part of life. It makes me even more appreciative of life now, and doing this sort of work has inspired me even more to live my life to its fullest!

I registered for the GREs, so I'd best start studying!!

Take care y'all; I'll update soon!

"The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there." - Monica Baldwin

- E

"The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge." - Bertrand Russell

2008-06-20T02:51:00.005-04:00

Hmm, it's been a long time. I apologize... it's just that since my last post, the months have FLOWN by and I've been SO busy. It's 2:52 am and I should go to bed, but for some reason I'm not tired, and I figured blogging is probably as productive as I can be at this time of night. Nevermind the fact I work 9 - 5 tomorrow.

Well, where should I start... hmm.. how about the end of the year?

Let me just say, the end of the year was fantastic. I passed A & P (barely, but I did it). I am still Captain of the Equestrian Team for next year (yay!!). I am President of PPHA (<3 Community Health). I am being a Peer Leader again! All in all, it was a great end of the year. Banquets were fun, checkouts were not - but hey, I'm not a CA anymore! I couldn't wait for summer to begin, but I'm not even going to be sad about going back up to SRU in a couple of months... I have so much to look forward to, and I'm living in an amazing apartment with Steve!

So, Summer 2008 is definitely kicking Summer 2007's ass. I LOVE my job. I'm working as a Care Specialist, doing in-home care for the elderly and disabled. I absolutely love it. It hasn't always been easy, and I've cried over it, but overall it's been so fulfilling and I get a lot of enjoyment out of it.

I started Weight Watchers again (with Erin!) almost 4 weeks ago. I've since lost 9.4 pounds and I feel so good about myself. I don't quite notice a difference yet, but just knowing I'm doing what's right for my body makes me so happy.. it's one of the few personal things I really wanted to focus on this summer, and the fact I'm putting so much effort into it makes me really, really pleased.

Friends are good - I barely have time to see them because of work (I work a steady 9 - 5 Mon. - Fri. schedule now, but it wasn't like that at the beginning of the summer. One week, I worked 72 hours! Crazy, I know.), but I try to fit them in here and there. I love the fact that Erin and I are doing WW together... it's so much fun and I love the support of having another person go through it with me.

I haven't been able to ride at all this summer yet, but I'm planning on starting up in the next couple of weeks. Since starting WW again, the gym has become my friend... so hopefully my ass won't get kicked too badly when I get back on a horse!

Seth and I are about to celebrate 6 months of being together! We're going through a rocky time right now (boo), but I hope we get through it. If we don't, I'll just have to think of our relationship as not meant to be, at least at this point in our lives. I love him a lot, but there are just some issues we have to work on. Wish us luck. :-)

What else... oh! I'm rat-sitting for the summer. Renee and her roommates have 2 female rats and nobody was available to look after them this summer, so I'm doing it! Their names are Fiona and Bianca, and they are adorable (much to my mother's dismay). They're not as dirty as most people think rats are, and it's been really fun so far.

I bought a bike today... there's a beautiful trail by the river downtown, and I've always wanted to ride down there... so I think Erin and I are going down this Sunday. If it's a beautiful day, then it should be amazing. I can't wait!

Family is doing well... I don't get to see much of them because of work, but I try to get some quality time in when I can! My mom and I are getting manicures and pedicures on Saturday and I'm so excited! It's been awhile since I've had my nails done, and I'm looking forward to it.

I guess that's about all for now! I'm loving this summer... if any of y'all from home are reading this, pleaseee feel free to get in touch! I would love to see you. :-) I'm really going to try to update this at least weekly. Try being the operative word. Take care!!

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

- E

"You're not obligated to win. You're obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day." - Marian Wright Edelman

2008-04-14T13:59:00.002-04:00

Okay, let me go through good things first...

SO, remember how I said Seth couldn't come up to SRU? Well, he surprised me and came up!!
:-) I received a knock at my door during a nap on Saturday afternoon, and I got up and opened the door to find nobody... but a teddy bear. So I picked it up (extremely confused) and it had a shirt on it that read: "Somebody who loves me very much went to Las Vegas and brought me this teddy bear." So of course I'm sort of perplexed and I looked down the hall to find nobody there. I looked down once more... and there was Seth!!! It made me so happy and I was really excited. We had a great time, but I didn't get any work done, unfortunately.

It's okay though, 'cause yesterday I worked for about 12-13 hours straight getting all of my work completed. I hope it paid off!! I had my test and presentation this morning, and I turned in my huge paper. So I feel a lot less stressed now.

Happy birthday to my daddy!!! I won't post his age here ;-), but I can't wait to celebrate with him!!

Aaand that pretty much completes the good stuff.

I need to vent again. I don't know what it is, but it seems as though in every single part of my life right now, there's something going wrong! Let me just say this: I HATE when people don't give me the same respect that I give them. I have problems with hypocrites and people who are just too insecure to stand up for themselves. I don't really know how long I can take all of this... I just feel that I'm getting challenged (in a bad way) by people who have no clue what it's like to be on my side of things. I hate when people aren't honest with me, and I seriously am getting sick of all of it. I just don't know what's worth all of my stressing out, especially at this time of year. People just need to get a grip and worry about their own lives. OR, just come talk to me about something in a MATURE manner. Don't give me the silent treatment or cop an attitude with me. I treat people with a ton of respect for a reason: it's who I am and it's the way I want to be treated, too!!! So dammit, just grow up already. I don't need any stupid, petty drama in my life.

"What makes it so plausible to assume that hypocrisy is the vice of vices is that integrity can indeed exist under the cover of all other vices except this one. Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core." - Hannah Arendt

- E

"There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - Aldous Huxley

2008-04-11T23:56:00.003-04:00

It's almost midnight (11:57 as I'm typing this) and I just got done with being on duty for the night... so I figured I would update!

April is a crazy month. Extremely crazy. Classes are insane and the workload is barely managable! This upcoming Monday, I have a test, a paper due, and a presentation. The next day, I have another test. Ahhh. PLUS, I have a billion obligations for my other activities (Public Health Awareness Day is Tuesday!), and I just can NOT wait for this semester to be over.

Good news:
*My car reached 100,000 miles. Well, I don't really know if this is GOOD, per se, but I rewarded her with a trip to the carwash. I actually didn't go through the carwash (I'll wait till my car gets fixed), but I cleaned the inside and it made me happy!

*The head of my major's department gave me all of these compliments today and made me feel like a million bucks. :)

*I was quoted in SRU's newspaper today! In fact, I'll share the article right here:

*I saw Chelsea Clinton speak at SRU today (okay, well, yesterday by the time this is published). She was awesome! I still don't know who I'm voting for... I mean, I probably will vote for Obama, but I support both Hillary and Barack, and I will vote for whomever secures the Democratic nomination!

*I registered for classes, and I got everything I needed! Here's my schedule for Fall of '08:
- Monday:
Personality - 8
Medical Microbiology - 10

- Wednesday:
Personality - 8
Med. Micro. - 10
Med. Micro. Lab - 6

- Friday:
Personality - 8
Med. Micro. - 10
Med Micro. Lab - 3

- Web:
Intro to Criminology
American Corrections

I'm so excited! The labs are only 50 min. long, so that's not bad at all... and I decided to take the online courses because I only need them for credits' sake. They don't fill a block for me, they aren't major/minor courses, they are purely credits. So I'm pretty excited! Steve has an opposite schedule; he has all Tuesday and Thursday classes. He worried that we will never see each other... but I reminded him that we're living together and I know that having roomie time won't be a problem!!

*Seth is wonderful... he's currently en route to Pittsburgh from Las Vegas, where he stayed with his mother for a few days. He loves Vegas, and I have yet to go... but I'm glad he had a good time! This will be the first weekend since we've started dating that I won't see him, but out of all weekends this is probably the best one because of my workload.

*I stayed overnight at my house in Pgh on Tuesday because both of my parents were out of town. It was really nice to have the three of us hanging out!

*"Smart People" came out today!!! I can't wait to see it and see if I can find myself in the bar scene...

Bad news:
*Basically, all I need to vent about here is drama. Drama, drama, drama. Personally, I don't understand why some people LOVE drama in their lives. I don't really want to get into TOO many details, but I'm finding that in multiple areas of my life (not family/friends/boyfriend), there is always someone who makes life harder for others for no reason... I just don't get it. For me, if there's a chance of confrontation, I'd rather just confront someone or have them confront me, clear the air, and have it be done. I'm so sick of people's immaturity and it's really unhelpful when it all tends to happen around the busiest month of the academic year! Also, I wish people would take responsibility for things in which they choose to be involved. In a lot of what's going on, there are issues because people aren't respecting the position in which they're in, or they aren't respecting a position that someone else is in. I hate having drama in my life, and I'm just fed up with biting my tongue because I know it's the right thing to do. I'm a South (it's a personality thing, just ask and I'll explain), and I can only stay quiet and respectful for so long. I'm about thisclose to just saying EXACTLY how I'm feeling about certain issues, and I just hope that this last month of school goes quickly enough where I can just keep mum and let it all roll off my back.

Ah, that felt good. I find that venting on blogs is so calming. It's like, I don't know exactly WHO reads this, but even if nobody does, at least I've saved a few ears from hearing me chatter about insignificant issues (in the scheme of life!) and I feel better about things instantly!

Okay, I think that's all for now. Tomorrow, I'm on duty (aka getting all of my crap done), but I'm going for a lunch date with Chelsea (no, not Clinton this time...haha), and I'm soo excited!

"That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong." - William J. H. Boetcker

- E

"One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." - Andre Gide

2008-03-31T13:50:00.002-04:00

And another week has started. Ew.

Two of my classes (taught by the same professor) were cancelled, so that's nice... but I just can't believe how quickly the weekend went by.

Seth came up and it was good for the most part (we got into a fight on Saturday evening :( ...but everything is better now!)... I miss him a lot already!

I can't believe classes end in less than 40 days (including weekends!!). I'm so stressed... I feel like I have SO much to do in that short amount of time. Don't get me wrong, I can't WAIT for summer... but I just hope I have enough time to get the 3590824026 things I have to do DONE. Wish me luck.

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen

- E

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere." - Carl Sagan

2008-03-28T00:47:00.004-04:00

I can't wait for the weekend. I'm serious. This week has been crazy.

Monday night I pulled an all-nighter because I had an Anatomy and Physiology test at 8 am the next day. I didn't mean to stay up all night, really, but the 6 cups of coffee I drank at midnight didn't really give me a choice. Oops. :(

I think it was worth it though; I'll find out next week! Anyway, that day, I had a riding lesson that was pretty tough (and I'm still sore!), and as I was coming back from the lesson, a girl hit my car!!! Grr. She wasn't even paying attention while she was coming out of the parking lot, but luckily nobody was hurt. She was a real bitch to me about it (and she hit MY car...huh?), but I filed the claim and all is good. My car is still drivable, so that's good.

We had a PPHA-CC meeting today, and we had nominations for next year... Results? I'm running unopposed for President!! :) Let's hope that when it comes time for E-Team nominations, I can continue my Captain run as well! Yay!

Tonight Steve and I had a floor social where we had our residents paint ceiling tiles. It was really fun and we had about 13 people show up. Here's a picture of mine:

Love it!!

I'm just so tired... I'm glad I'm on duty this weekend so I can relax a bit! Seth is coming up and I can't wait to see him!!

"I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker." - Helen Keller

-E

"I am always busy, which is perhaps the chief reason why I am always well." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

2008-03-24T17:23:00.003-04:00

Oh my... it's been awhile.

This semester has been kicking my ass. I know, it's a completely different attitude since the last time I've written, but that's what's been the issue! I have been SO busy in every aspect of my life, and I'm finally ready to catch you all up on it!

Steve and I were rudely made aware of the fact that we didn't get the apartment when, in February, I drove past the house to see a real estate sign! Our would-be landlord put his house on the market and didn't even let us know. Ridiculous. Ah, but all bad things get better, and Steve and I are living in the Ivy apartment complex next year. We will be staying in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment with a full kitchen, washer/dryer, and living room. All furnishings/utilities included, and we're VERY excited. Whew, just to have our living situation figured out is relieving enough, and check this place out - I think you would be excited too! The price isn't quite as nice as what was offered before, but I'm going to be working hard over summer to help with some of the cost.

That leads me to my next topic! Over Spring Break (which was nice, but not TOO exciting), I got a job as a caregiver with the Caring Mission. My job will be going to elderly people's homes and taking care of them for hours at a time. I know it's going to be rough, but I think it's going to be satisfying as well. I really can't wait!

Seth and I are doing GREAT. In fact, today marks the 3 month anniversary! He's such a wonderful boyfriend and I really couldn't be much more happy. He always puts a smile on my face and is truly becoming one of my best friends. I love him!

The Equestrian Team is great. You're now reading the blog of the new team Captain! Kimi - unfortunately - stepped down as Captain due to time constraints. I understand her position - she's a Bio-Chem major who is going to UMass Med. School next year! If I were her, I don't think I would have the time either... so I respect her decision, and I'm lucky to have the opportunity to lead this team! Let's hope it continues next year... We ended up only having one show this semester due to cancellations because of awful weather (Winter, I hate you.). I DID get third place at that one show though, so I was VERY happy!

Classes - like I mentioned before - aren't going wonderfully. This semester has been the hardest for sure, but it's coming to an end soon (at this point, I'm not sure if that's good or bad), and I can already hear summer calling my name!

What else... OH, another highlight of my crazy life! I saw Eve Ensler speak at SRU. For those of you who don't know, Eve Ensler is the playwright of The Vagina Monologues. Let me tell you, she is my new heroine. Everything she talked about (mainly ending violence against women worldwide) just made complete sense to me and I'm so awed by the amount of people she's influenced and in what ways she has done so. Yep, I'm definitely a fan!

My family is doing really well. I've seen them quite often and that makes me happy.

Hope all is well; I'll really try to update more!

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie

- E

“Be happy. It's one way of being wise.” - Sidonie Gabrielle

2008-01-26T21:21:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting at the front desk on duty and I figured this might be a good time to update!

Life is good. School's not bad yet (well, let's see how I feel when I'm tested on 126 bones on Tuesday...) and the workload is managable!

Equestrian Team meetings start again next week and then lessons the week after. I can't wait!

Things with Seth have been amazing. We've been together over a month now, and it can't be better. Last weekend I was at his place and I ended up with a really awful 24 hour bug. Well, he took care of me the entire night and then ended up getting sick himself! But he was so sweet about it... it's just stuff like that that makes me smile! He visited me last night and we had a really nice time.

I miss my family... Hana got braces! I'm not jealous at all... been there, done that! I always stuck with "tooth-colored" band colors because I didn't really want them noticed, but Hana went with hot pink and black for her colors... SO typical for her!

I wish I had more exciting news. Steve and I are still awaiting news on the apartment. The landlord said we would know by the end of the month... which is coming up very shortly! So I'm expecting news within the following week.

Oh, RIP Heath Ledger. How tragic - and such a good actor, too. I remember first seeing him in "10 Things I Hate About You" and thinking that he had so much potential. :(

Ah, I'd hate to end on a sad note... let's think of something good... oh! I went to Compadres the other night... and saw my favorite waiter, Victor. I had a ridiculous crush on him last year (yes, it's because he's Mexican), and when he first waited on Jaime and me, he found out I spoke a little Spanish and that's all we talk in now. It's very broken on my part, but for some reason he now thinks I'm fluent. Haha... well, it was good seeing him the other night, even though Steve and Travis looked like they had no idea what was going on. *sigh* Victor just adds to my Compadres experience! ;) No worries, Seth...

Okay, that's all for now. I'm so tired and will most likely go to bed after sitting desk. Goodnight!

"If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone." - John Maxwell

- E

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." - Benjamin Franklin

2008-01-14T16:58:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Time for the updates!

New Year's Eve was lots of fun... I was at Erin's house and saw good friends and had so much fun bringing in the new year. Welcome, 2008!

New Year's Day, I had three friends from SRU come stay with me for five days. They're all international, and they did a lot over winter break, and part of their break was staying with me! Yoona is from South Korea, Karan is from India, and Karen is from the Netherlands. We had an amazing time. They met a lot of my friends when we went bowling and had a game night, and I showed them all around Pittsburgh (Science Center, Strip District, South Side, Incline, Ice skating at PPG Place, Warhol Museum). It was a VERY busy five days, but it was so worth it. It was great!

My sister turned 12 on January 2nd. I can't believe that she only has one year till she's 13!! I just can't believe it...

Steve and I came back to SRU just for the day on Wednesday to look at the apartment we want next year. We'll find out at the end of the month if we have it! It's the basement of a family's house, and it's so perfect. I'll elaborate more if I find out we have it! Cross your fingers for us!

Seth and I have become official. Things with him are wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I feel very lucky to be with him (people who know him/the story know why!) and I have a very good feeling about this! I really do. :-)

I came back to school on Saturday. It was hard for me to leave because I had such an amazing winter break with my family, friends, and Seth. I miss everyone so much, but it's also been nice seeing everyone again.

Well, almost everyone. I wasn't TOO excited to see some of my residents, but whatEV - one more semester of this... I can deal with it! It was good to see my staff and to start up classes today. I actually had all of them, since I only have my A & P lab on Tuesday mornings and no Thursday classes. So here's my predictions for them!

Child and Adolescent Development - I'm really excited for this course. Since I want to go into Maternal and Child Health, learning about all of this is so interesting to me. I'm really looking forward to it.

Intro. to Study of Disease - This is going to be tough. It's all about the pathology of diseases and it gets very indepth. But again, it's interesting to me and it's going to be very practical in my field.

Anatomy and Physiology 2 - This is probably going to be my hardest course. The good news is, my professor seems extremely nice and willing to help. He understands that the course material is tough, but he has a passion for teaching and a passion for A & P, and I'm hoping that some of that rubs off on me!

Biostatistics - Another toughie. But it's kind of a continuation of Data Management, so hopefully I'll do alright in it.

There's definitely positives to my schedule. My last three courses are going to be hard, but I have good friends in all of them. So I know we'll be there to support each other! All of my professors seem really cool and I'm just hoping for a great semester.

Tonight I had dinner with Karan and Karen, and I think I'll just take it easy because I have a wonderful 8 am A &P lab tomorrow. Wish me luck!

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure." - Bill Gates

- E

"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." - Alex Haley

2007-12-27T23:47:00.000-05:00

WINTER BREAK IS AMAZING.

That is all. I don't want it to end... it's just been one of the best breaks. The couple of weeks I've had so far beat out the majority of Summer '07. I've been able to hang out with my family a lot and see lots of friends... so it's been a good time! I've also reconnected with someone I saw a bit over the summer... and I'm happy to say things are really going well with him. :-)

I got my grades back, and while I'm not happy overall, I DID get the "C" I needed in A & P... so I'm thankful for that! Here they are:

Nutrition & Health - A (what I expected)
Data Management - B (thought I was getting an A... boo!)
Health Measurement and Evaluation - B (was hoping for an A, but expected this)
Cognitive Psych - B (what I expected)
Anatomy and Physiology - C (THANK YOU)

So... a 3.0. Not terrible, but it's the worst I've done so far at college. Also, my 4.0 in my major has dropped, and I'm really bummed out about that. I think it's now a 3.75. Again, not terrible by any means... but I'm just disappointed. I really want to graduate cum laude, and I need at least a 3.5 QPA. I have a 3.35 right now, so let's hope within the next year and a half I can bring that up! I'm confident I can... I'll just work my butt off even harder than I have!

I saw "Juno" yesterday with my mom... it was AWESOME - you all should definitely see it! I also saw "Enchanted" last week... it was cute, too!

So... that's my life right now. I'm pretty happy... and I just don't want the 11th to come anytime soon... hope all is well!

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." - Helen Keller

- E

"I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done." - Marie Curie

2007-12-07T21:03:00.001-05:00

Why, hello. It's been awhile & I apologize!! The past month has been so busy & overwhelming! LOTS has happened. Here are updates:

Classes
They're over!!! They ended today & I couldn't be happier. I have had so many projects, papers, and exams... and I'm so over it. Finals are next week, of course, but that's actually going to be relaxing compared to all that I've had to do! Some good has come out of all my hard work, though! The only class where I'm completely done (no final) is Nutrition and Health. I know I have an "A"! I'm very happy about that :) A & P never got any easier (and I'll be studying for that final the longest), but I did get to dissect a fetal pig... oink. It was actually pretty cool.

Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was great. Such a nice opportunity to see family... it's definitely my favorite holiday! We went to Charlotte, and I just had a great time... LOVE my family!!

Social
Everything's going well... friends are doing great... love them all! I did break up with Perry within the past month. I... wasn't really happy, and I know he saw it coming. He's a good guy, but it's probably for the best that we aren't dating. It was definitely emotional, but like I said.. probably for the better.

General
Winter break starts a week from tomorrow!!! I CAN'T WAIT! Yay. Oh, and I did end up going to Bodies on my own... it was so awesome & I definitely recommend it.

So.. now I'm on duty & Steve and I are going to hang out for a bit. Hope everyone's doing well!

"Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them -- and then, the opportunity to choose." - C. Wright Mills

- E

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." - Anne Frank

2007-11-14T16:47:00.000-05:00

Ew. I have Anatomy and Physiology lab in 40 minutes.

It's seriously the last place I want to go to right now! This week has been superbusy, and I haven't gone to sleep before 3 am. Most of my major projects are done, so maybe I'll break the curse tonight... and I'm just exhausted!

We ended up NOT going to the Bodies exhibit - just to the Science Center. It was still a really good time, but I'm definitely going to be heading to Bodies at some point before May! Anyone up for it? We had our last horse show for the semester on Sunday at Bethany. I originally drew Abby - the same 14.2 hand Appaloosa I drew last semester - and our coach was not having it! She told the officials that I shouldn't have to be on a 14.2 hand horse, so they put me on Danni - and she's 17 hands! I did pretty well - 4th out of 6, but it was definitely my best ride at a show yet! So I was happy.

I was not so happy, however, when I got a flat tire on Sunday. Yep! I have no idea how it happened, but it did.... good news, though: I already got it fixed on Monday! Whew. Not a good time...

Don't really have much more else to say... oh, Happy 19th birthday to my little brother! Love him.

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." - Carlos Castaneda

- E

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." - Albert Camus

2007-11-09T12:14:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone.

It's Friday & I'm glad. This week - while not as busy as last week - was hectic in its own way and I'm glad it's practically over.

I registered yesterday and I'm in all of the classes I need except for one (but I'll get signed into it). I'm taking 12 credits: Anatomy and Physiology II & Lab, Biostatistics, Intro to Study of Disease, and Child and Adolescent Development. Fun, right? Hopefully it will be. I was going to take 15 credits, but I realized that after this next semester, I will only have two major courses and two minor courses left to take (one of each in each semester). So... that means I'll need two extra liberal studies in both semesters senior year... so I'm not going to take anymore classes than I need to right now!

I'm pretty sure Steve and I are going to live together next year. I'm hoping it works out, anyway. We found an apartment right across from campus that's two bedrooms, fully furnished, washer/dryer, and all utilities included. Price? $300/month. That's amazing - and cheaper than the residence halls! We are really hoping we get it... I've emailed the landlord (because it's only one apartment and not part of a complex) and he said that he'll put me down on the list of parties that are interested and let me know what's going on before winter break. There's really no reason that Steve and I shouldn't get it. We're both going to be seniors, we're both responsible, we're friendly..... so why not? Let's just hope it works out!!

Wednesday night I went to Eat n Park with Kim... it was so nice because we really haven't been able to see each other/catch up since high school! I can't believe she's a senior at GCC... but it was really great to catch up. Afterwards, I rushed to the restroom because I had about three cups of coffee, and as I rushed to take off my coat, I heard "plop." I looked down, and there was my phone. In the toilet.

Yeah.

So, Jaime and I went yesterday to Radioshack and I bought a new phone. It's pretty nice, nothing too special, but it's fine. Unfortunately, all of my numbers are gone :( So if you read this, please send me your number in some way. Thanks much!

I'm going to see the Bodies exhibit at the Carnegie Science Museum tomorrow and I can't wait. There's a lot of controversy around it, but I think it's a wonderful opportunity for the public to see what is usually only seen by medical professionals. I'll definitely write a review.

Renee took pictures of me with Hanna yesterday at the barn. I'll post one on here! My lesson on Tuesday went pretty well. I was the only one in it, so Amy put Hanna on a lunge line and I just worked without reins. It was pretty amazing. Hard, but I was able to eventually do a posting trot without holding onto the reins (or anything else at all, for that matter), and it was such an incredible feeling!

Well, I'll write more Saturday night - have a great weekend!

"The love for a horse is just as complicated as the love for another human being...if you never love a horse, you will never understand." - Unknown

-E

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

2007-11-02T01:00:00.000-04:00

1. Post 20 things you want to say to people.

2. Do not say who these people are.

3. Never discuss it again.

1. We've been such good friends throughout college & I'm so glad you're in my life. I know I can come to you with anything that's on my mind and you're not going to judge me for it. Thank you.

2. I've known you for years and years... and we were close growing up - especially in high school, but not as close as I wish we had been. We've had some really good times and I'm glad we still see each other every so often because I don't want to let our friendship fall apart!

3. Our friendship did fall apart. And over something very, very stupid. I think we're slowly picking up the pieces and trying to mend things... and I don't know what the future holds for us, but I'm glad we're not at the same place we were a few months ago.

4. I never thought that when we met last year that we were going to become so close... we've shared some great times and I've learned to love tea more because of you!

5. A lot of misunderstanding went on between us. I don't think you gave me a fair chance to say anything to defend myself. We haven't talked for some time now... and I don't know if we ever will. It's a shame, because I miss you. I hope you're happy nowadays.

6. You make me sick. I've never really liked you, and the fact that you're fake to the world confuses me and further makes me more disgusted. That's really all I have to say.

7. We really just met this year, but I already know you're a friend for life. We keep each other sane and help each other through rough times. You're a great person - don't change a bit.

8. You're my hero. You've gone through so much in your life, and I don't think you'll ever realize just how much I look up to you. I love you.

9. You're my biggest fan. Which in turn makes me your biggest fan. You have so much to offer the world, and I know it's all going to happen when you get a little older. I love you.

10. I absolutely had the wrong impression of you when we first met. But I love you and we always have such a good time together... even though we don't get to see each other nearly as often as we'd like!

11. You're an asshole.

12. I don't really know what happened between us. A couple of years ago, we became such good friends. And now, I barely get to see you and when I do it doesn't even seem like it's the same and it makes me sad... what happened?

13. This is to two of you. I really had high hopes for both of you, and you let me down. I feel like I can't really trust you with responsibilities and that's really frustrating. I'm glad we're friends and all, but I've learned a lot about your characters within the past few months.

14. You make me want to be a better person. I can accept criticism from you and know that it's only because you want me to excel in all that I do... and I thank you for it.

15. You've been one of my best friends since elementary school. I love how we can see each other after months and pick up right where we left off. I miss you right now, but I know I'll see you soon enough!

16. We've known each other our whole lives, practically. Sometimes I feel like we're so different, but it's very, very clear that we're very much alike! I don't get to see you all that much, but when we DO get to see each other, we have the time of our lives. I know we'll always be here for each other - love you!

17. You need to get over yourself.

18. This is another one to two people I know. You guys are awesome. I love you both a lot and I know you make each other very happy - and it makes me happy, too! I'm so glad I'm close with both of you and that we've been able to get to know each other for the past year and a half.

19. I admire you. I think you're brilliant and I've learned so much from you.... thanks!

20. We're friends. I value our friendship & I'm grateful for it.

“Truth has not special time of its own. Its hour is now -- always and indeed then most truly when it seems unsuitable to actual circumstances.” - Albert Schweitzer
- E

"A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?" - Jane Wagner

2007-10-25T14:10:00.000-04:00

Wow - lots has happened in one day.

Our building dynamics are about to change - a lot. I'm pretty sure two of our staff members are leaving. Which means there will be two of us left. That's huge. And I'm still in a state of shock -- especially because our staff is wonderful (always has been). But for different reasons, I'm pretty sure they're leaving and it's definitely going to be an adjustment.

Anyway... Perry IS coming up on Saturday and I'm happy about that. It should be fun!

I also found out some...interesting (for lack of a better word) news about an ex last night. Not that I care about what has happened, but it's just weird. Wish I could give more details on here, but it's not my place -- just ask if you want to know!

Today has been really long... and it's not even close to being over! I went riding this morning and volunteered at the barn for awhile. Now, I'm waiting for Jaime to call so we can grab lunch and then I have night class. Once that's over, it's smooth sailing till the weekend!

Not much else is happening...I just want a nap!

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." - Fredrick Douglass

-E

"October is a symphony of permanence and change." - Bonaro W. Overstreet

2007-10-24T11:29:00.001-04:00

So on my busiest day of the week, I still found time to do a quick blog. Amazing!

I'm not nearly as angry as I was in my last post (for those of you who know me, you know that I rarely stay mad for very long). I'm still not happy with the job - and other reasons that I won't list have added to why - but Steve and I had a long joint floor meeting with both of our wings, and we made it clear that we're both sick of the lack of respect and that we were going to start cracking down. Results? Things have been better.

The past weekend was busy, but fun! Hana came to spend the night on Friday and we had a great time. She came to the WVU horse show with me on Saturday and it was fun (as usual), and it got even better because I placed 4th out of 7 people! That's the first time I've beat more than one person/came in last. Haha...so I was pretty excited over that. I messed up in front of the judge and I was pretty sure I had put myself in last place, but then I guess I got it back together so quickly that it impressed her...? I'm not sure, but I'm definitely not complaining!

This week has been pretty hellish. A lot is due and I feel like I don't have enough time to complete everything. And it's not just schoolwork. Or CA stuff. Or equestrian team-related. It's everything.

HealthFest.
Nutrition and Health booth.
Surveys/code book for Data Management completed.
OctoberFest.
Health Measurement and Evaluation marketing campaign completed.
Cedar Point fundraiser.
Volunteering at SHEC.
Plus more.

The good news is that one of the big days is over! Yesterday was HealthFest, where I helped to run 3 different booths for 2 different reasons (Nutrition and Health & PPHA). It was a little crazy, but actually really fun and everything ran smoothly. I just have so many other things to do...like, my day today started at 7 am, and it won't end till 10 pm. Well, that's partially true. My activities/commitments won't end till 10 pm. And then I have homework and studying. This is my life! For once, I put my foot down though this semester... I've been having trouble with a particular group project in a class where I've been staying up very late to complete parts of the project because nobody else has taken the initiative to get things done. However, another part is due soon and I've made it clear that either we're all staying up late together, or someone else needs to do it because this week is NOT the week for me to be taking on group projects on my own.

That's why they're called "group projects."
I wish some people understood.

I'm just overwhelmed -- happy, but overwhelmed. And this weekend the Equestrian Team is working at Cedar Point as a fundraiser, and yours truly is driving. Did I mention that we have to be there at 8:30 am? For an 8 hour day? And then I have to drive back? Cedar Point is roughly three hours away. I'm not the only one driving, of course....but after this week, all I'm going to want to do is relax. Guess it can't happen till Sunday!

I also hope I get to see Perry at some point this weekend. I'm not going to be up for driving to Pittsburgh, that's for sure. So I hope he comes up here... anyway, that's another thing stressing me out.

Blah. Enough for now -- I'll update more later & I hope you're all doing well.

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

-E

"When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear." - Mark Twain

2007-10-16T00:25:00.000-04:00

Well, when I said I would be blogging more often, I didn't think it meant a few hours. But I just felt the need to vent quickly. I was talking with Steve in the hallway (because we're having our floor meetings together tomorrow), and I realized that one of my bulletin boards had been written on. Here's the thing: I wouldn't care about it if I had all the time in the world to do bulletin boards. However. I do NOT have all the time in the world, the boards take a few hours to do, and it PISSES me off when people just write shit on them because they think it's funny.

I'm so sick of this job. I mean, I like some of my residents, but the job isn't fun for me anymore. It's not even like it's boring -- it's just taking up so much time and I'm bothered by things that I don't have time to be bothered with. I was really looking forward to this year because everyone seemed so cool. And most of them still are. But it's the few residents wiping info off of CAs' boards, tearing stuff off/writing things on bulletin boards, etc., who are really making this year hard for me. It's just a matter of respect, and it's so frustrating that some college students don't grasp the concept. I know that my freshman year, NOBODY thought of taking things off the boards or screaming things down the hall at 2 am or 8 am.... none of that is necessary, yet some people feel the need to do it.

I'm just angry. It takes a lot to get me angry, and folks, I'm there. I give respect to my residents, and all I want is to get it back. That's all. I'll keep you posted.

"Is there no sense of respect of place, persons, nor time in you?" - William Shakespeare

-E

"Blogs are a real force... they're not just for geeks anymore." - Carlos Watson

2007-10-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

Shame on me.

I haven't written in slightly over a month and I am so sorry! Life at SRU has been crazy this semester, and it's not slowing down anytime soon.

Classes have been really busy. I'm still not liking Anatomy and Physiology... and let's be honest: I probably never will. But it's going okay, as are my other classes. I'm just so busy all the time with projects and assignments. It never seems to end!

Perry and I just celebrated 2 months & I'm happy! :)

Equestrian Team is going great. We've had three horse shows and I placed fifth in one and sixth in two. Oh well - we still have three more this semester and I'm gonna work hard for the blue ribbon!!

CAing has been tough this semester. I do love my floor, but it's the little things that are getting to me. Examples: the fact that I have a concert every day in my room, but my music isn't on...thanks, neighbor! * Showers breaking and flooding the bathroom that has no central drain * Residents posting pictures on Facebook of themselves drinking * etc.
I really hope I can be an RA in the Ivy next year because this whole CA thing is getting old...

Life generally has been okay. I feel like being busy is good, but sometimes I'm too busy for my own good. I'm just involved with so much (and I love all of it), and I find that any free time I have is usually devoted to sleeping. It's okay, though. Next semester will be a lot less stress and hopefully my senior year will hold even less stress for me!

One good thing about being busy: I can't believe I already had midterms. This semester has flown by... let's just hope that it stays that way (for A&P and my sake!)!! I promise I'll start updating daily...

"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of Solitaire. It is a grand passion." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

-E

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon

2007-09-12T10:50:00.000-04:00

Things have been a bit stressful at Rhoads, but I'm so thankful to have a staff where we can all support one another in times of need. So things are better now!

Perry and I have been dating for a month now...and it has gone by so quickly! I'm happier every day...

I'm going to a taping of the Hines Ward Show today with Amanda!! I can't wait. And then, I'll be home for Rosh Hashanah till Thursday evening.

And the weekend? I'm spending it with Perry and my family!! I'm excited to see what's in store...

L'shana Tova!

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." - Aristotle

-E

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." - Marcel Proust

2007-09-07T20:52:00.000-04:00

Hello, world.

It's been awhile, and I apologize. This year has started out crazy and busy, and I'm relaxing now (although, not really, because I'm on duty). Here is what I'm faced with this year: 15 credits (plus a lab), being Co-Captain of the Equestrian Team, being Treasurer for PPHA, being a Peer Leader for FYRST Seminar, being a CA, and being a Peer Assistant.

So if I don't update nearly as often, please don't hold it against me!

As crazy as everything is, life is so good right now. I feel as though I've been redeemed by G-d in some way... like, "Here. You had a pretty shitty summer, so...have a busy year, but let it be good."

And it is good.

My residents are wonderful, and I've had no problems thus far. I've started becoming really close with a few of them, but I've done a good job of keeping my distance as a CA. They seem really excited about programs, and I have a good mix of upperclassmen and freshmen.

Classes, although very busy (did I mention I already have three group projects underway? And we just got done with our second week!), are pretty interesting for the most part. Well, except for Anatomy and Physiology. I think I will forever dispise that class -- no matter how many times I take it. Anyway, I'm trying to keep an open mind...so hopefully things will become more interesting in there. I think Cognitive Psych and Data Management are my two favorite classes right now. I didn't think Data Mgmt. would be because it's...well, it's an 8 am. Enough said. Nahhh, just kidding. But really, for an 8 am it keeps my interest. I'm excited to do my own study and analyze the results! Cognitive Psych is so interesting...I learn something new in every class and it really gets me excited! Haha... Along with those two and A&P, I have two other classes: Nutrition and Health and Health Measurement and Evaluation. Nutrition and Health is an interesting class, but I feel guilty about EVERYTHING I eat when I'm in there. Even healthy stuff! For example, the question was asked, "How many of you eat the skin on an apple when you eat it?" I, along with many others, proudly raised my hand (thinking: hmm...skin on apples = fiber). Well, the answer from my professor was, "Hm...well, you know when they use pesticides, that's EXACTLY where they spray it on..." And then she went on to explain that if we are going to eat veggies and fruits (which we should, as part of our daily diet), then they should be organic.

Well, okay. But that wasn't the question! It wasn't, "How many of you eat the skin off of NON-ORGANIC, PESTICIDE FILLED apples?" *sigh* Anyway, it IS a good class and I really do like the professor...I've had her for three other classes AND she's my advisor. It's just funny to be in class with her because she REALLY loves nutrition and seems to genuinely get upset when she sees that the majority of us eat processed food.

Oh well! Moving on... Health Meas. and Eval. seems like it's going to be a tough course. Our group project is designing a whole health education program. My group's topic is on Asthma. It shouldn't be too bad... but it's going to be a lot of information/research!

We had our two Equestrian Team info meetings, and the official meetings start this Monday. We seemed to have a lot of people who are interested, and I hope it all goes well! My lessons start Tuesday and I can't wait to get back into riding... I mean, I rode a little bit during the summer, but it was before Cherokee died...and so... well, it'll just be good to ride again.

Perry and I have been dating for almost a month now, and when we saw each other last weekend, we...... *drumroll please*...... became official! Haha...it was actually very exciting, and I really like him. We.. in Jaime's words... just fit. It's great. He'll be here tomorrow and will be spending the night. I'm looking forward to it!

Hmm...what else? I've been spending time with my love, Jaime.... it's been fun, as usual! And so, like I've been saying... everything is going really well. I miss my family, but I talk to them often and I'll be seeing them soon for Rosh Hashanah. Hope you all are doing well! :)

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work hard for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers." - Homer Simpson

-E

"Living on campus makes it your world." - Zac Goodwin

2007-08-24T20:54:00.000-04:00

SO. I finally have a bit of time to rest and catch all of you up on what's been going on. All freshmen moved in today, and it seems like a good portion of my floor is freshmen. I like it that way, I think, because they seem to listen to/respect me more. My residents seem really cool and I hope they get involved with floor stuff!

I'm on duty, so the rest of the CAs took the freshmen to the pep rally tonight. We have a full weekend of events for the freshmen and then classes start Monday! The author of the book freshmen had to read, Shackleton's Way (about the explorer Ernest Shackleton), will be speaking tomorrow, and then there's a whole bunch of activites planned. I feel confident that this will be a good year. I may be speaking too soon...but.... great staff? Cool residents? Hm...let's hope for the best!

"Difficulties are just things to overcome, after all." - Sir Ernest Shackleton

-E

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

2007-08-22T01:42:00.000-04:00

We finally officially ended training! Tomorrow we're volunteering, but all the lecturing is over...and I'm so glad.

Everything's great here...I still love my staff and more residents are moving in.

I miss a certain someone a lot, but we'll see each other soon enough. This waiting time in between is not so fun, though!

It's almost two in the morning...I'm really out of it and should get to sleep, but I'll update again soon.

"When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, and remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever." - Anonymous

-E

"Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean." - Ryunosuke Satoro

2007-08-19T23:40:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't updated since I've been back; I've been so busy! I am so happy up here... and it's good to be back. Training has been taking up most of my time, of course (9-5 every day... eek!), but I've been able to enjoy myself as well.

I LOVE my staff. Steve, Travis, and LeShay are just such awesome people and so genuine. Unfortunately, LeShay was only here for one day of training because she had to get her wisdom teeth out, but Steve, Travis, and I have spent lots of time together and I know LeShay will fit right in when she comes back! I can tell we're going to be like family (aka the teasing from the guys has already started!). Melissa is going to be a great coordinator as well. She's sweet and easy to talk to. I think it's great we're already tight as a staff... it will really make this year go smoothly.

Perry came up to visit two nights ago and surprised me with roses! We had such a good time... and I can't wait to see him again. I think it's safe to say we're dating... and we're taking things one day at a time. He makes me really happy and I hope things work out. He's in Pittsburgh, so it's feasible. It's just that these next couple of weeks are so busy. It stinks, but I'm hopeful that things will work as they should.

I like my room in Rhoads and I've started working on doortags and bulletin boards. I've already had five residents move in (out of 54!) because of band and sports. Still quiet though, and that's always a good thing! Everyone else will move in next weekend.

Overall, things are great here. I miss my family, but we're so busy that it's hard to think of much else other than CA stuff. It's cool being a returning CA - I like being there to help the first years! I'll update more in the next couple of days.

"Our Rhoads staff might be small
But our spirit overrides it all
We know we'll do well with our mascot - the car
Who will lead us on the path to success
It won't be too far!" - Travis, Steve, LeShay, and myself (during CA training... our cheer!)

-E

"Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life." - Robert Southey

2007-08-15T02:28:00.000-04:00

Happy 20th birthday to me!

VERY exciting.

Well, it WOULD be more exciting if I wasn't heading back up to school in about 9 hours....and if I didn't start CA training at night.... ah, well. It's okay. I had a great dinner with my family, went to the movies with Perry (!!), and finished the night off with Elysa, Becky, and Laura. SO. Even though tomorrow will be a hectic day, tonight was a fine birthday celebration!

I feel lucky to be where I am in life, and that in itself is the best birthday present I could have!

Next post will be from good ol' Slippery Rock.

"One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them." - Virginia Woolf

-E

"Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway." - Mary Kay Ash

2007-08-11T14:28:00.000-04:00

So. Four days until two big things happen.

1. I go back to SRU for a fun ten days of CA training. I know intentions are good, but some of those sessions were tough to sit through the first time around. I can't even imagine what training will be like now that I've already done the job!

2. My 20th birthday. Not that I'll get to celebrate. Well, that's not true. There's a big dinner for all CAs on the 15th.... so I guess THAT will be my birthday dinner! Not bad, not bad...

Am I packed at all? Nope...so I should probably get on that. I'm going out tonight...and then it's down to business for real!

"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." - Steven Wright

-E

"I've got to admit it's getting better / It's a little better all the time" - Paul McCartney

2007-08-10T04:47:00.000-04:00

So, it's 4:50 am, and I need to be getting to sleep...but today was awesome. And it could have been a disaster, but it wasn't...and that makes me SO happy.

I had a picnic to put on today. Mother Nature, however, had other plans. She provided a tremendous torrential downpour. I freaked out and thought I would need to cancel. But thanks to my family's generosity of letting me use our house for 20 people, it turned out to be a success. People came right at five, and stayed long past 11 pm. I believe the last of my guests left around two thirty. TWO THIRTY! That's incredible. I worried that there was going to be a lull of activity that would send people home, but as these picnics promise: there are so many people meeting others for the first time that there are always stories to share and talents to show off! Catchphrase, Charades, and Mao ruled a lot of the night, and it was just perfect. No drama, no worries...just fun.

People who said they would bring things did, and that made things so much easier. There was so much food and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves. And you know, the majority of us (minus my little sister and her best friend! haha) were between 19 and 25 and not once was alcohol or any drugs mentioned (as in: "Hm...anyone have some vodka?"). It makes me really, really happy when we all can remember to have fun without the use of either of those. In a weird way, it gives me hope. That's odd, isn't it? But that's the only way I can describe how I feel. I guess the whole night was refreshing. I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time...and it makes me remember that I really need to keep in touch more. I had forgotten how much fun we used to have together, and tonight was a nice reminder of all the good times.

Anyway, I'm on this "natural high" where I'm just so thrilled that something that could have turned out disasterous didn't (and in fact exceeded my expectations), and maybe that storm was just a blessing in disguise. I've had a few of those, I think, recently...and tonight was when I recognized one almost right away. That's awesome.

Thank you to everyone who came & made the picnic fabulous, and many, many thanks to my family. You all really saved the day.

"Only you could turn a picnic inside and still have it be awesome." - Jim H. (a guest as he was leaving)

-E

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." - Guillaume Apollinaire

2007-08-09T00:53:00.000-04:00

New Mexico was fabulous.
Just incredible.

The atmosphere is very laidback and it's one of those places where moments happen that you know you'll never forget.

My aunt = a great hostess. Enough said!

Oh, and the green chile there? Amazing.

The trip did what I thought it would for me. I'm relaxed, happy, and at a complete peace of mind. I went salsa dancing a few times, met some very nice people, listened to great music, and just had a fantastic experience. I know my aunt would love if I came back for grad school, but I'm going to have to see if UNM has a public health program (Pitt is still my number one choice so far!).

I just can't believe the trip is over...it went by so quickly, and each day we were so busy. I'm glad to be back only because I know I have so much to do in the next week before I go back to school!

I leave you now with a poem that I saw in the Indian Arts Museum:

I am the earth at my feet
and the rain that softens it
and I am thankful

I am the clay in my hands
and the shapes they craft
and I am respectful

I am the story in my mind
and the prayer in my heart
and I am wiser

We are one moment
in a tradition everlasting
and we are honored

-E

"Time tells the truth." - Fortune Cookie

2007-08-01T03:44:00.000-04:00

North and South Carolina turned out to be a blast... and exactly what I needed. I've been back home since Saturday, but I leave this morning (literally, my dad will be waking up in about two and a half hours to take me to the airport) for Santa Fe. I'm so excited (and I just can't hide it? Haha, I couldn't help myself...). My mom is there already, but when she leaves on the 4th, it will be just Aunt Harriet and myself.

I feel like this will be a cleansing period for me. Aunt Harriet is really into yoga/exercising and healthy eating. Those are the two things I'm deficient in. I will hopefully pick up some of her habits and bring them back here. I can't believe I go back to school in just fifteen days. What happened to my summer? Of course, I'm not feeling negative about it at all; I'm glad it's almost over. It just flew by...seem like yesterday that I was loading all my stuff in the car to go home!

I'll have a lot of work to do when I get home, but it's okay. I can't wait to get organized and just be back up at Slippery Rock.

If I'm able to update from Santa Fe, I will. Otherwise, you'll hear from me in a week!

"The only thing you can carry with you on your travels is your heart. Fill your heart with good things and good things will follow you for the rest of your life." - Scott Murray

-E

"The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts: and the great art of life is to have as many of them as possible." - Montaigne

2007-07-23T20:45:00.000-04:00

So apparently you can't make certain blog entries private. It's a little frustrating, but I can go to another site to make my own private entries. That address will not be disclosed. Sorry. I've realized that I do need my own privacy because censoring myself isn't really helping me. I just need a place to truly vent knowing that nobody will be reading except for myself.

North Carolina has been wonderful. It's exactly what I needed and I'm finding that certain situations from my recent past have only crossed my mind a few times. And when they do, I quickly realize that I don't need to bother myself with worrying about -- what, other people's problems? Yeah, I've done too much of that lately for my own good. Well, I don't need to go further about that!

I've been able to see Ben's friends (well, I suppose they're mine too!) and hopefully will see them again! I find it's fascinating that we can go more than a year (or three) without seeing one another and it doesn't matter -- it's like we pick up where we left off. We're going to South Carolina tomorrow for a couple of days. Then, we're back in Charlotte till Saturday. I'll update. :)

"There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest." - Elie Wiesel

-E

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Ghandi

2007-07-18T03:58:00.000-04:00

Well, this is it. My first public post on my new site. I didn't think it would feel this liberating (can technology make you feel liberated?!), but it does. Regardless of what has happened in the past, I've moved on. I'm going to North Carolina till the 27th tomorrow. If I get a chance to update this, I will. Otherwise, you'll just have to wait (I say that as though people are already reading this)! I'm hoping to come back with a clear mind, a positive outlook (okay, I guess I usually have one, but I mean...returning to that state of mind), and relaxed.

"Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible." - Cherie Carter-Scott

-E