"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus

It's 3:00 in the morning and I should be tired, but I had an amazing 3 1/2 hour nap today, so my body isn't quite ready to go to sleep! So, I'll update instead!

The last week at home was great. I found out I got a 4.5/6 on my analytical part of the GREs, and (like my other scores) it's a bit higher than what Pitt recommends. I guess we'll find out what Pitt thinks when I apply!

The last day of work was on the 14th. I'm glad to be done with it (I was getting so tired), but it was really hard saying goodbye to one of my patients. I developed an amazing friendship with her and it broke my heart to have to say goodbye. I'm hoping I can still see her on breaks...

My 21st birthday was on August 15th!! The whole day was incredible. At midnight, my dad took me out to Molly Brannigan's (a local restaurant/bar) and I ordered a lemon drop martini. It was delicious! Then, the bartender gave Dad and me some shots of mixed drinks on the house. The next day was so busy! I had appointments all day (hair, pedicure, makeup, etc.) and then Angela and Ed's wedding was in the afternoon. It was so beautiful and I am so glad I was there for it! I went to the reception for a bit afterwards, and then my friends and I met up at my house at 8:30. My DD for the night had called off because of a pulled muscle, so I was worried that another friend of mine would have to DD. But, my parents came to the rescue and my mom dropped us off at the South Side and picked us up!! I think it's awesome... not many parents would do that.

We started off at the Lava Lounge, and hit four more bars on E. Carson. I think my friends had a really good time.. I know I did! I maintained a good buzz, but I didn't get wasted and nobody got sick. It was a really great time and I'm so glad I had my best friends there with me. :-) I couldn't have asked for anything better!

I came back up to school on Tuesday. Steve and I moved into our apartment (which is beautiful, by the way), and we're so happy!! We shopped all day on Tuesday and a bit more on Wednesday, and we're finally settled in. I'm SO looking forward to this year. Steve is an amazing roommate and it's like having a sleepover every night. I've already cooked a bit (raviolis the first night and sauteed veggies the next!), and it's been so much fun so far. I can't wait to see what this year is going to bring!!

Also very exciting: I got a job at Texas Roadhouse! I went in for an interview on Wednesday to be a server, and I got a call a few hours after with the job offer. I can't wait.. training starts on Saturday and I think it's going to be really fun.

I need to head up to the barn soon so I can start riding again... if there's one thing I regret about this summer, it's that I wasn't able to ride at all. That said, I lost 20 pounds this summer (yes, 20! I found out on Tuesday!), and I think that will definitely help me when I get back on the horse.

Life, overall, is great. I do miss my family (although Hana is coming up soon), but this year looks very promising in so many ways and I'm really excited for it. More updates coming soon! :-)

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard (played by Patrick Stewart), Star Trek: Generations

- E

"Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." - Abraham J. Heschel

It's been awhile and I need to update!

Ben and Aunt Edie came in and I had a GREAT time with them! Ben and I got to spend a lot of time together and that was so nice... he got to see a lot of my friends that he knew and met more. We went to Kennywood and had a game night at my house.. and it was just a really good time! I'm definitely hoping he comes to Duquesne for grad school (and I hope to get accepted to Pitt for my grad school!!).

Speaking of grad school, I took the GREs last Tuesday. Now, I had been taking practice tests and I wasn't too happy with those results. Pitt doesn't have a minimum score needed, but they recommend a 500+ on verbal, a 500+ on math, and a 4 out of 6 on analytical. I kept getting slightly under 500 in each section, so I was extremely nervous going in for the test. The day started off pretty terribly. It was pouring (perfect test taking weather, right?) and I forgot my umbrella, so I was soaked running from the parking lot (where I had to pay 13 dollars for parking) to the Cathedral of Learning. Once there, I had to find the classroom (all while trying to make myself look somewhat dry) and I started the test right away (I thought it started at 8 sharp, but it was whenever you got there... 7:40 for me). I think I did pretty well on the essays (I'll find out soon), and......I got 510 in verbal and 520 in math!! I was so relieved because that test was hard as hell. Verbal is usually my stronger point, but there were words that I had never even seen before in my life. And, not only did I have to know the definition, but I had to then know what the opposite of it was. Here's an example: torpor. Torpor. Have you ever seen that word before? And I couldn't even begin to think about what it meant (by the way, it means to be inactive. Yes, it's so obvious, right?). Then, I had to figure out what the opposite was... grr. BUT, I made it through and I'm so happy! Let's hope Pitt's happy too.

Erin and I had our 5th annual picnic last week... it was so nice! We had a great turnout and it was lots of fun. I've also been able to see Lindsay and Jess within the past week.. and that's been great too since I haven't seen them all summer.

I went to Angela's bachelorette party last night (well, the dinner part of it!). It was so much fun and I can't wait for her wedding...

...which happens to be in four days... like something else.... OH, that's RIGHT - my 21st birthday!! Yep, four days away. I can't wait - it's going to be a really awesome day!

Okay, that's all for now..hopefully more tomorrow. I'm so tired and I work at 8 tomorrow. GREAT!

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein

- E

Just something cool :) Will update today sometime!

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Black and white photographs - Familytree

"One faces the future with one's past." - Pearl S. Buck

Gooood morning! I have to make this a quick post because I work at 1 (for 10 hours...how exciting!).

The past week has been going pretty well. I've picked up a few more extra shifts at work because a caregiver quit... didn't even give a two weeks notice... just up and left! Oh well, it's money, and I need it!

I can't believe I have less than a month till I move back in! Steve and I finally got our apartment number and when we move in, and I'm to move back on August 19th, between 1 and 4. Steve and I hung out last Sunday (mmm, Olive Garden)... and we both can't wait to live together! He's one of my best friends and I know it's going to be a great year. :-)

I lost another 1.2 pounds this week, and I'm down to 17.4 pounds. I am hoping that I can reach my 24 pound goal (10% of my original body weight) by the time I go back to school.... or, at least 20 pounds... haha.

My aunt and cousin are coming in next week to visit for a few days! I'm so excited - Ben is my age, we're really close, and I'm looking forward to seeing them both.

I went out with my Angela yesterday for a bit. She's getting married on my birthday (good day, right? maybe I'm biased...), and so I helped her pick out a dress for her rehearsal dinner & we found gifts for both her and Eddie's parents. I can't wait for their wedding - they are both two wonderful people and they deserve the best in life! Speaking of their wedding/my birthday... both are a little over 3 weeks away! Yay :-)

Mmmm I think that's all for now... take care!

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

-E

"'No one,' Eleanor Roosevelt said, 'can make you feel inferior without your consent.' Never give it." - Marian Wright Edelman

I'm sure you can all tell I was feeling pretty shitty at the time of my last post...

There's nothing like a whole bunch of bad things hitting you at once! I found out in the morning of July 4th that one of my clients had passed away. Now, we were expecting it.... but it was still sad to hear. I ended up going to her viewing the Sunday after, and that was really nice. The fireworks were beautiful on the 4th, but then afterwards Seth and I had a long conversation and decided that we're two different people and in two different stages of our lives right now. It was a "good" breakup, but it was emotional... and I haven't talked to him since. It's been tough, but overall I think it was probably for the better. I guess we'll see.

Life's been going pretty well since. Work is still work - always busy! I picked up a couple more shifts with new clients, and they seemed happy with me, so that's good! I'm down to a total weight loss of 16 pounds (since last night) and I just keep feeling better and better! My goal is to reach my 10% body weight loss goal before I go back to school (that's 24 pounds for me). So I have 8 pounds to go, and about 4 1/2 weeks to do it! I should be able to, and I'll just try my best.

I got pulled over for the first time in my life a couple of nights ago. I was heading home, and I went through what I thought was a yellow light (that I knew had turned red, but I thought I was already in the middle of the intersection). Well, it was just my luck that a police car was the first car in line at the opposing intersection, and he definitely pulled me over. He was really nice to me and understood what I thought I had done, but he issued me a citation anyway and told me that he had to because the light was already green for him by the time I went through. Oops. :( He also told me he couldn't give me any legal advice, but he hoped I "was old enough to read between the lines." He told me that I have the option of going to court and try to get the fine reduced and the points off my license. He also said that I didn't have an attitude with him and was extremely compliant, so if the judge wanted to adjust the fines/points, that the officer wasn't going to challenge it. SO, that's exactly what I'm going to try to do. Because who wants to pay 108 dollars and have 3 points on his/her license?? Grr. I'm not angry at the officer or anything, but it's just frustrating because I know I'M a safe driver and it wasn't like I was being dumb. I just didn't pay enough attention, I guess. So it goes...

That's not the only car problem I've had, unfortunately. My car hasn't been doing so well the past couple of weeks; I've been having trouble getting the gears to catch (and I have a stick shift), and I'm flying through a full tank of gas in a week (when I don't drive THAT much and usually have wonderful gas mileage). So, I took it into the shop last night and I found out that it's a transmission/clutch problem, and it needs to be repaired, obviously. The price is going to be anywhere from 1,500 - 1,700 dollars. Just what we needed!

I'm getting more and more excited to get back up to school. I love being at home, but I'm excited for what my senior year has to bring. I just hope that the drama level stays LOW and essentially non-existant. I mean, you know I won't be the one causing it, but I'm not about to deal with it either. I'm not sure if I wrote about this before, but I will say it again anyway, just because it's so important to me. This job as a caregiver has taught me a lot and I've gained so much from it. One of the most important things it's helped me to realize is truly how precious life is. Of course, I've always realized that, but I've started to visualize myself in 50 or 60 years, and I don't want to look back at my life and regret things I've done. I try not to live with regret now, but I've ultimately decided that my happiness is important and I won't let anyone or anything else get to me. So going back to the hopes that drama doesn't happen... if it does, I'm not afraid to adjust my life so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. I'm the type of person who wishes they could fix and change the world, and that includes people's attitudes. I am always nice to people because that's just naturally how I am and how I want to be treated. And no matter how nasty people are to me, it really takes a lot for me to act the same way towards them because I always am hoping that they will realize the ridiculousness of their behavior and change the way they are with me. Unfortunately, this doesn't always happen. It's been a hard pill to swallow that no matter how you act to some people, they won't necessarily treat you the same way. Well, I'm done with hoping and wishing that there is something I can do or say something to someone to change them when they've consistently shown disrespect towards me. I mean, I'll be 21 in less than a month, and in less than a year I will have my bachelor's degree. I'm sick of dealing with stupid shit and I need to surround myself with people who aren't going to bring me down. I let lots of things roll right off my back and I will continue to do that, but I have learned that I need to do what's best for me, because at the end of the day... I'm all I have.

I feel like doing a victory dance. Haha... you know, this summer compared to last summer is as different as night and day. Last summer I went through a lot of changes and I really did learn a lot, but they were all negative experiences that really taught me lessons. This summer, I've learned a ton about myself and good experiences have brought that to me. I made it a priority to work on my weight because that is important to me, and it's been successful so far. It was a "selfish" decision, but something I really wanted/needed to do, and it makes me feel good that I am doing that for me. I love to care for and nuture others (in my work, family, friends, relationships, organizations), and I have to remember to put myself in my list of priorities. It's so important!

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test a while back (if you're not familiar, take it online - just Google it), and I came up as an ENFJ [Extroverted (not Introverted) iNtuitive (not Sensing) Feeling (not Thinking) Judging (not Perceiving)]. Here's a profile, and I'm pretty sure it fits me perfectly:

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.
ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

Here's another one:


As an ENFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments. (This is, by the way, not true for me!)

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.
ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present.

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.

Interesting, right?? So I suggest all of you take the test, and leave a comment here telling me what it came up with for you (it's a little over 80 questions)! Ahh, I love personality tests/activities. I love the NSEW activity we did at CA training (and that Steve and I facilitated for both of our floors last year). I'm definitely doing that with the other officers of both the Equestrian Team and PPHA-CC. I think it will be beneficial...

Okay, so after this super long post, I think I'm done for now. I fully expect to see some comments... and it's good for you, too! You can learn a lot about your strengths and weaknesses through these sorts of tests and learn to capitalize on your strengths and work around your weaknesses.

Hope you enjoyed this novel & I'll update again soon enough!

"Where'd all the good people go / I've been changing channels, I don't see them on the TV shows / Where'd all the good people go / We've got heaps and heaps of what we sow." - Jack Johnson

- E

"A rose without thorns is like a love without heartbreak; it doesn't make sense." - Unknown

The 4th of July is supposed to be happy and full of celebration, right? Today (yesterday) was, sort of.

But one of my clients passed away on July 3rd (at night), and Seth and I broke up tonight (er.. the night of the 4th, after fireworks).

So where does that leave me?

"Words and hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair." - Anonymous

- E

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." - Buddha

Good evening!

Things are still going well this summer (whew!)! I'm down now to 11 pounds lost (let's hear it for double digits, shall we?), and I feel amazing. What I'm doing for myself makes me very happy & I can't wait to see more results!

Friends are still doing well! Along with hometown friends, I'm attempting to also see some people I don't see all that much. Steve (my roomie for next year) and I got together this past Monday at the Waterfront. Besides being POURED on (thank you, Western PA weather), it was a great evening!!

Also, this past weekend I went to Ohio with Mike, Dawn, and Katie and we stayed at Katie's house. I had a blast.. it was awesome. We went to a Cleveland Indians game on Friday night, and spent the day relaxing on Saturday. Seeing as I'm not really going away on vacation this summer (minus some weekend trips), it was nice to get away for a night with friends.

Work is going pretty well. One of my clients is actually in the process of passing away, and it's a sad thing to experience, but this is just a part of life. It makes me even more appreciative of life now, and doing this sort of work has inspired me even more to live my life to its fullest!

I registered for the GREs, so I'd best start studying!!

Take care y'all; I'll update soon!

"The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there." - Monica Baldwin

- E